This day she'd decided To leave her hometown Bland Land behind For the curious cheer of her little wonder craft A self-made Chance. With a hope in her pocket And purpose in her shoes. Her dream tucked in a pouch Of charcoal washed fabric She'd hung around her neck. Double knotted To be safe. Pushing off the shadowy, gray shoreline With her lionhearted oars Hand-made. She set her sights on forth With an old lore compass She'd been gifted By an other-shaded man Who said it would take her To the place they called The Castle of Dreams. To this Fort of Fantasy She was now headed Like the other-shaded kin before. Who were brave enough to believe And dared enough to see To discover for just a moment of knowing reverie. This thing of which she'd secretly read And heard whispers of in folklore They called Colour.

Like a thick plume of black tar Lining the lungs of a coal miners chest. So too in her A darkness lay Manifest.

She discovers herself Standing in that awkward space In between. The preceding months seemingly oblivious To the milliseconds precariously Quivering By. Within the confines of her ribcage An echo of that long ago turmoil returns. Like a sacrificial lamb Bowing before its final cause. The lulling solace Which she had grown so accustomed Now absent. Seconds Anxiously Turn To ice. Her repose snatched. Unwonted A curious dance beckons. His composed exterior willfully deceived. Those answers Unanswered Fuzing Into what feels like a timeless fog. Then Through his eyes Surreptitiously Exposed. She sees It. Like a bear Being recklessly roused From a deep winter sleep. Standing There. Laid bare. She is That elephant In his room. Misplaced Like a wallflower Dizzily driven into a pack of wanton wolves. She reaches Searching for calm. Like a Shaman to her drum She calls Within. To the cosmic space Which surrounds them. Like wild fire A waveless quiet descends. And as the ribs of a ship Are cleansed by The briny arms of the tide, So too she pleads For the purging of her mementoes of him. Looking back. Sorely wiling forward. She walks away. Salvaging what is left of her self. Her final credence yet unknown.

Breath Was Hard To Come By. A tightness In her chest. Perforating upward. She Chocked. Suffocating Under A burly blanket. Submerged Beneath the cover Of dense sentiment.

They stood. Devout. Like a menagerie of monkeys Waiting for that pledged papaya which never comes. Faceless. Numbers. In line for that eternal Land of Promise That never was.

I opened up the words Exposed to the melody. In a jaded major street It all ended in tragedy.

I need not lead any pack Nor follow none. A lone wolf I find serenity In the sanctuary of one. I am. Striving against The ‘I’ from yesterday And none other. The mind of the majority Does not phase me. I am the director of my own scenes The artist seeking the flow and meaning To all that is. Inside Not out. As without Is nothing but noise The shouting Blinding Any divine source. To fully do My Soul Justice. With the wandering space I have been given On this plane Is my only intention.

i am messy in mind and uncoordinated in body. i effortlessly spill coffee on my preferably white tee. a glass falls unsurprisingly from my hand. that donut never seems to meet my mouth. first time. on frequent occasion. i think before I speak. often. i fall up stairs. i laugh with strangers. and commiserate with friends. i love books. and i live in dreamland vistas so vast and wide they keep me up. all day. i like dogs. i am a feline friend. the ocean is the place i feel most at home in. strange. crowds make me claustrophobic. and yet i find myself dancing in a moving mass. i eat too much. i try to drink less. i quit smoking and am still not sure i'm happier for it. i like driving fast. two wheels or four. i jump at the chance. to eat ice cream when it's raining. i have scars. some still healing. i like to walk slow. smelling fresh grass after a mow. watching birds surf in the wind is one of my favourite things. and so i sit reflecting some. i find myself. not perfect. but rather color-filled and happy. even though i just spilled coffee on my new white tee. again.